Kiefer? I Barely Knew Her!

Highlander 2? I Barely Knew Her!

Join Chris and B as we continue making poor life choices and resign ourselves to watching “Highlander 2.” What’s worse than every other property in the Highlander series? This. This movie by far. We smoke up and double down on the Renegade Cut’s lore while discussing firstly WTF?!, wonder how many times “just hear me out” was uttered in character design meetings, and lament every poor financial choice that they made in lieu of paying Clancy Brown to return to the series.

Monster Hunter? I Barely Knew Her!

Join Chris and B as we snuggle up with our Palicos and watch 2020’s “Monster Hunter.” What’s worse than getting lost in an unfamiliar desert? Trying to get directions to the nearest Skytower from a Diablos. We smoke up and dive for cover while discussing the impact on morale when the leader gets Deep Blue Sea’d during a motivational speech, appreciate the creative direction of “show don’t tell” in a movie, and how this movie delivers on its promise: hunting monsters.

Event Horizon? I Barely Knew Her!

Join Chris and B as we ignore the sage advice of “liberate tutemet” and instead watch “Event Horizon” while keeping all the lights on. What’s worse than an evil entity in space? Hellraiser in space. We smoke up and try to come back down to earth while discussing the refreshing lack of gaslighting, explore the similarities between Sam Neill’s character and John Hammond from “Jurassic Park,” and wonder if any of the engineers building this hell drive ever stopped to ask “are we the baddies?”

The Terminator? I Barely Knew Her!

Join Chris and B as we strap on our fanny packs to watch 1984’s “The Terminator.” What’s worse than slowly being hunted into extinction by machines? Having your commanding officer choose you to be his dad. We smoke up and climb down into the bunker to ponder why Reese was sent back the same day as the terminator, discuss how not even self preservation is a match for the power of love, and dive into the consequences of not properly testing your fuses.

Predator 2? I Barely Knew Her!

Join Chris and B as we crank the A/C and watch 1990’s “Predator 2.” What’s worse than living in this LA of the future? Apparently, living in LA in 1990 when this movie was filmed... We smoke up and tamp down our criticisms while we ask the question were Gary Busey’s teeth what threatened the predator, attempt to define why this predator movie doesn’t feel like a predator movie, and explore whether or not this future LA is a precursor to Demolition Man and subsequently Judge Dredd.

Highlander? I Barely Knew Her!

Join Chris and B as we cozy into some turtlenecks and watch 1985’s “Highlander.” What’s worse than being immortal until someone cuts your head off with a sword? Realizing the “prize” for winning the ‘Immortal-Off’ is worse than losing. We smoke up and lower our swords  on holy ground while discussing the problem with casting a protagonist who only speaks 10 words of English just for the broodiness of his brow, the apparent reversal of age rules for immortals, and note the bizarre similarities between MacLeod and Harry Potter.

The Meg 2? I Barely Knew Her!

Join Chris and B as we double down on avoiding anything water related after watching “The Meg 2.” What’s worse than “The Meg?” Certainly not “The Meg 2,” if that’s what you were expecting. We smoke up and walk the trench to discuss Jason Statham’s hella sick Jet Ski skills, appreciate DJ’s Sarah Connor-like dedication to preparing for a sequel, and wonder if the severely limited gene pool for Megalodons could create something as sinister as a 5-headed shark.

The Meg? I Barely Knew Her!

Join Chris and B as we don’t even don our wetsuits because we’ll be avoiding puddles after watching “The Meg.” What’s worse than a mega shark movie with no actual blood and gore? A mega shark movie with no actual blood and gore starring Jason Statham who can’t even use the “F” word. We smoke up and dive down deep to discuss the impacts of a story where the antagonist has no motivation, try to count which other Statham movies can be found within this one, and lament the “bible study” level of sexual tension.

Killer Klowns From Outer Space? I Barely Knew Her!

Join Chris and B as we barter for our pizza and watch “Killer Klowns from Outer Space.” What would be worse than a group of killer klowns from outer space terrorizing your small town? Finding out they already got Joe Lombardo! We smoke up and crash land while we postulate the possible need for an episode of Ancient Aliens showing how the Klowns gave us blueprints for castles, introduce a new tool to measure the movie’s murder barker and we’re calling it the Mooney to Loomis scale, and find out which of us wouldn’t believe the other if we said there was an alien invasion.

Die Hard? I Barely Knew Her!

Join Chris and B as we enjoy “Die Hard” with little to no vengeance. What’s worse than being accidentally invited to a holiday party on the other side of the country where the guests become hostages for a group of presumed terrorists? Being invited on purpose. We smoke up and chuck loose bricks of C4 down elevator shafts while discussing the importance of planning your heist wardrobe, do our best not to think about the FBI’s definition of “acceptable” losses, and worry about the LA police department’s nepotism policy after Deputy Chief Dwayne “The Ineffectual Pebble” Robinson took “control” of the situation with nary a toilet seat cover in sight.