Kiefer? I Barely Knew Her!

The Sixth Sense? I Barely Knew Her!

Join Chris and B as we pull the blankets closer and hope we don’t see our breath while watching 1999’s “The Sixth Sense.” What’s worse than thinking your marriage is falling apart? Realizing that you can’t tell the difference between being an absentee husband and just being absent. We smoke up and hide under a red blanket fort while discussing the Are you Afraid of the Dark episode that was likely the muse for the plot of this movie, sift through the damage the industry caused M. Night by selling him harder than the movie, and ponder the actual impact of receiving “help” from Cole.

Critters? I Barely Knew Her!

Join Chris and B as we avoid looking out of the the kitchen window while watching 1986’s “Critters.” What’s worse than a running theme of aliens coming to our planet and eating us? The realization that we may be the 7-11 of the universe. We smoke up and sneak out our bedroom window while discussing how refreshing it is to have good child actors in a horror movie, wonder what they would have been able to achieve had they been given a “Gremlins” level budget, and ask the question: do the parents know that an adult alien gave their son a phone to call him personally?

Annabelle? I Barely Knew Her

Join Chris and B as we do our best not to look behind the TV while watching 2014’s “Annabelle.” What’s worse than having the doll you’ve been looking for your whole life used as a vessel for a demon? Finding out this isn’t her first time. We smoke up and head down to the storage cage while discussing the very real possibility that a demon's job is likely more soul crushing than yours, run through the impact of a possessed toy in the Toy Story universe, and work our way through additional ways to avoid possession yourself.

Halloween II? I Barely Knew Her!

Join Chris and B as we ask, “Why us?” while watching 1981’s “Halloween II.” What’s worse than finding out you’re related to the psycho killer who murdered your friends and tried to kill you? The EMT with a crush, a lack of boundaries, no social awareness being the last thing you see as the sedatives set in. We smoke up and chomp down on some candy that hasn’t gone through the metal detector while discussing Michael’s lack of proximity limitations that are shared by fellow slasher counterparts, the real possibility that Michael was fighting the yips with his selective killing spree, and talk about who is really at fault for killing Laurie Strode’s dream prom date.Don't forget to check out the kickass merch we made, inspired by our conversation on this episode! kieferibkh.threadless.com

The Conjuring? I Barely Knew Her!

Join Chris and B as we reach through the veil while watching 2013’s “The Conjuring”. What’s worse than having your home haunted by a relentless demon witch? Being blamed for her farts. We smoke up and ensure our feet are securely under the covers while discussing at what point do you stop trusting your own senses, pontificate on our personal paranormal predicaments, and walk through the step by step guide on avoiding demonic possession this movie presents.

Terminator 2? I Barely Knew Her!

Join Chris and B as we make our own fate by watching “Terminator 2.” What’s worse than sending your “best lieutenant” back in time to bang your mom and become your dad? Also sending yourself a robo-babysitter because you really were a little scamp. We smoke up and lower ourselves into a vat of molten steel while giving a thumbs up as we highlight a few of the egregious decisions Arnold made as John’s protector, question whether or not the T1000 is a better model, and assert “This whole time travel thing is cheat codes bro”.

Aliens? I Barely Knew Her!

Join Chris and B as we fall through the drop ceiling while watching 1986’s “Aliens.” What’s worse than finding out you've been in hypersleep for 57 years? Finding out the bureaucrats are still salty about that shipment you had to blow up. We smoke up and slide down to the rust and rain room aqueducts while discussing what function Bishop was actually meant to serve outside of knife tricks, add another contender to the Monster Punching Club, and question whether we should be saying we Ripley’d it vs we John McClane’d it.Don't forget to check out the kickass merch we made, inspired by our conversation on this episode! kieferibkh.threadless.com

Alien? I Barely Knew Her!

Join Chris and B as we crawl down the air ducts to watch 1979’s “Alien.” What’s worse than becoming a host of a parasite against your will on an unknown planet? Having it happen in a Red state. We smoke up and remind ourselves that, “This isn’t our system” while discussing the ethics of a warning beacon, ponder where the Xenomorph’s stowaway behavior started on an evolutionary level, and consider what might have happened if not for that last meal before cryosleep.

Scream 2? I Barely Knew Her!

Join Chris and B as we overcome our growing fear of sequels (fuckin’ Renegade Cut…) and watch “Scream 2.” What’s worse than dating Sidney? Not much, it seems to be a death sentence. We smoke up and pour one out for Randy while discussing why the franchise had to kill off the incredibly accurate murder barker, ponder what could only be classified as immersion therapy for Sidney, and wonder if the “guidance” Mrs. Loomis gave Billy is what led to him becoming a serial killer... like mother like son?

Scream? I Barely Knew Her!

Join Chris and B as we expel all the air from our lungs into a Tara Reid screech while watching the original 1996 “Scream.” What’s worse than losing your virginity to the killer? The post nut clarity compelling you to question his alibi immediately after having sex. We smoke up and dive into the metaverse while discussing new additions to the Mooney to Loomis scale, the patience required to wait in closets and bathroom stalls for that perfect moment, and the fact that the movie both figuratively and literally told us who the killer was repeatedly.