Kiefer? I Barely Knew Her!

Aliens? I Barely Knew Her!

Join Chris and B as we fall through the drop ceiling while watching 1986’s “Aliens.” What’s worse than finding out you've been in hypersleep for 57 years? Finding out the bureaucrats are still salty about that shipment you had to blow up. We smoke up and slide down to the rust and rain room aqueducts while discussing what function Bishop was actually meant to serve outside of knife tricks, add another contender to the Monster Punching Club, and question whether we should be saying we Ripley’d it vs we John McClane’d it.

Alien? I Barely Knew Her!

Join Chris and B as we crawl down the air ducts to watch 1979’s “Alien.” What’s worse than becoming a host of a parasite against your will on an unknown planet? Having it happen in a Red state. We smoke up and remind ourselves that, “This isn’t our system” while discussing the ethics of a warning beacon, ponder where the Xenomorph’s stowaway behavior started on an evolutionary level, and consider what might have happened if not for that last meal before cryosleep.

Scream 2? I Barely Knew Her!

Join Chris and B as we overcome our growing fear of sequels (fuckin’ Renegade Cut…) and watch “Scream 2.” What’s worse than dating Sidney? Not much, it seems to be a death sentence. We smoke up and pour one out for Randy while discussing why the franchise had to kill off the incredibly accurate murder barker, ponder what could only be classified as immersion therapy for Sidney, and wonder if the “guidance” Mrs. Loomis gave Billy is what lead to him becoming a serial killer... like mother like son?

Scream? I Barely Knew Her!

Join Chris and B as we expel all the air from our lungs into a Tara Reid screech while watching the original 1996 “Scream.” What’s worse than losing your virginity to the killer? The post nut clarity compelling you to question his alibi immediately after having sex. We smoke up and dive into the metaverse while discussing new additions to the Mooney to Loomis scale, the patience required to wait in closets and bathroom stalls for that perfect moment, and the fact that the movie both figuratively and literally told us who the killer was repeatedly.

Highlander 2? I Barely Knew Her!

Join Chris and B as we continue making poor life choices and resign ourselves to watching “Highlander 2.” What’s worse than every other property in the Highlander series? This. This movie by far. We smoke up and double down on the Renegade Cut’s lore while discussing firstly WTF?!, wonder how many times “just hear me out” was uttered in character design meetings, and lament every poor financial choice that they made in lieu of paying Clancy Brown to return to the series.

Moster Hunter? I Barely Knew Her!

Join Chris and B as we snuggle up with our Palicos and watch 2020’s “Monster Hunter.” What’s worse than getting lost in an unfamiliar desert? Trying to get directions to the nearest Skytower from a Diablos. We smoke up and dive for cover while discussing the impact on morale when the leader gets Deep Blue Sea’d during a motivational speech, appreciate the creative direction of “show don’t tell” in a movie, and how this movie delivers on its promise: hunting monsters.

Event Horizon? I Barely Knew Her!

Join Chris and B as we ignore the sage advice of “liberate tutemet” and instead watch “Event Horizon” while keeping all the lights on. What’s worse than an evil entity in space? Hellraiser in space. We smoke up and try to come back down to earth while discussing the refreshing lack of gaslighting, explore the similarities between Sam Neill’s character and John Hammond from “Jurassic Park,” and wonder if any of the engineers building this hell drive ever stopped to ask “are we the baddies?”

The Terminator? I Barely Knew Her!

Join Chris and B as we strap on our fanny packs to watch 1984’s “The Terminator.” What’s worse than slowly being hunted into extinction by machines? Having your commanding officer choose you to be his dad. We smoke up and climb down into the bunker to ponder why Reese was sent back the same day as the terminator, discuss how not even self preservation is a match for the power of love, and dive into the consequences of not properly testing your fuses.

Predator 2? I Barely Knew Her!

Join Chris and B as we crank the A/C and watch 1990’s “Predator 2.” What’s worse than living in this LA of the future? Apparently, living in LA in 1990 when this movie was filmed... We smoke up and tamp down our criticisms while we ask the question were Gary Busey’s teeth what threatened the predator, attempt to define why this predator movie doesn’t feel like a predator movie, and explore whether or not this future LA is a precursor to Demolition Man and subsequently Judge Dredd.

Highlander? I Barely Knew Her!

Join Chris and B as we cozy into some turtlenecks and watch 1985’s “Highlander.” What’s worse than being immortal until someone cuts your head off with a sword? Realizing the “prize” for winning the ‘Immortal-Off’ is worse than losing. We smoke up and lower our swords  on holy ground while discussing the problem with casting a protagonist who only speaks 10 words of English just for the broodiness of his brow, the apparent reversal of age rules for immortals, and note the bizarre similarities between MacLeod and Harry Potter.